


got to pick a pocket or two

by orphan_account



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, tiny spoiler for the newest episode
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 12:01:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1427734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robin finds pleasure in pickpocketting her. Regina is not amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. what's the magic word?

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the film/stageplay "Oliver!"

"I swear I just had it…" Regina mumbled to herself, digging through her black leather purse in frustration. Granny stood behind the bar of the diner. She was waiting impatiently with a Regina's hot cup of coffee in hand, watching as the queen searched for her wallet.

"It's on me," said a familiar accented voice.

Robin Hood grinned as he handed two bills over to Granny, who gave him a slight smile and took the cash from his hand.

"Enjoy," said the woman, placing the to-go cup in front of Regina.

Regina took the cup and turned to the outlaw. "And where did you get money? I don't suppose you found it lying around in the woods."

He gave her a sly smile and held up a rectangle of black leather so that she could see it.

The queen gaped at him and reached to snatch it from his hand, but he raised his arm up until it was too high for her to reach.

"That's  _mine,_ " snarled Regina.

"What's the magic word?" Robin teased, trying not to laugh.

She fumed. "Give it back."

"No, none of those," he laughed.

Regina looked up at her wallet. She could see the dark black ink of his tattoo peeking out from under his sleeve, practically taunting her.

In irritation, Regina shot a volt of electricity at his chest. He dropped her wallet with a gasp of surprise and pain. He pressed a hand to his chest, rubbing the area that was now burning and tingling.

"That's cheating." Robin gritted.

Regina smiled and put her wallet back into her purse. "Did you expect me to just  _let you_  steal from me?"

"I'll admit I wasn't expecting the zap," said Robin, leaning against the counter on one elbow, "but I did expect a fair fight."

"Well then, you're stealing from the wrong person." Regina sassed, taking a sip of her coffee.

Robin chuckled throatily. "Perhaps you're using magic to compensate for the fact that you're not tall enough to get your things back yourself," he mocked.

With that, he lifted his arm in the air again and Regina could see her cell phone being held over her head.

"You ass," she spat.

"You love it," said Robin with a wide grin.

She swallowed at that word. Love. Regina looked at his wrist again, at the tattoo that she'd run from.

"Why do you do that?"

The queen snapped her head toward him. "Excuse me?"

"You're looking at my wrist," observed Robin, lowering his arm. "This is…what? The third time I've seen you staring at it?" The corners of his lips turned up and he gave her a curious look. "Not fond of tattoos, are you?"

She cleared her throat. "No, no that's not it…" Regina searched for a plausible excuse as to why she'd been looking at it, but Robin interrupted her thought.

"You've been acting strange lately. Is everything alright?" Robin inquired. "Apart from the insane woman out for your heart, of course."

Regina opened her mouth. "It – it's my son," she said. It was a half-lie. She had been missing Henry terribly and enduring the torture of him not remembering her was taking a toll on the queen. But Robin seemed sated with this excuse.

"Ah, I see," he nodded in understanding. "I'd heard about your boy. That's a terrible fate, being near someone you love and they have no idea of who you are or what they mean to you."

Regina looked away, at the coffee on the counter that she'd nearly forgotten about. "Terrible," she muttered in echo to him.

A ringing sound filled her ears and she saw Robin jump slightly. He was still holding her cell phone, and was examining it strangely, confused as to why it was making that noise.

"What the blazes –" he mumbled, turning it around in his hands.

"Give it to me." Regina ordered, reaching her hand out.

But Robin had figured out that he was supposed to touch the "accept" button on the screen and was surprised by the end of the ring and the voice of the sheriff replacing it.

"Regina?" asked Emma's voice.

"Hullo? Sheriff Swan?" Robin yelled at the phone. Bloody hell, had Regina trapped the woman inside this tiny metal box?

" _Robin_?" inquired Emma. "Talk quieter, you nearly burst my eardrum. Where's Regina?"

Said queen had managed to reach over and snatch the phone from the outlaw's hand, putting it to her ear. "I'm here. What's going on?"

Emma changed the subject, "Why did Robin answer your phone? Where are you?"

Regina sighed and looked at Robin, who shrugged innocently.

"The thief thinks he's clever, he took my phone and my wallet. We're at Granny's right now. What's going on?" ask Regina.

She turned toward the door, striding outside to have more privacy over the phone.

Regina didn't notice Robin slipping a piece of paper into her purse as she left.

"It takes a good pickpocket to steal something unnoticed, it takes a better one to plant something else unnoticed," he would say later that day, when she met his in the woods as the note had instructed.

She just shook her head and smiled.


	2. a moment of peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Regina finally have that drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Several lovely people asked me to continue this, so here's another chapter because I was feeling write-y!

“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show,” called Robin.

Regina turned around to see him walking toward her from behind a thick-trunked pine. “I wanted to know what was so important that you’d have to arrange a secret meeting in the forest to discuss,” she said, holding up the square of paper that he’d slipped into her purse several hours earlier, at Granny’s.

“Ah, yes. That.” he acknowledged, plucking the paper from her hands and examining that. “I may have exaggerated the urgency of this meeting.”

“Excuse me?” Regina asked with a scowl.

Robin shrugged slightly and a face that said something along the lines of ‘minor details’.

“The extenuating circumstances I described in this were not of the Wicked Witch,” said the outlaw. “You told me before that you don’t drink during the daytime…”

She gave him a curious look as he walked back toward the tree he’d been standing behind, then emerged with a wine bottle in his right hand and two glasses in his left.

“…So here we are,” continued Robin with a smile, showing her the large bottle of cabernet sauvignon he carried. “It’s now evening and I do believe you still owe me that drink.”

Regina closed her eyes and opened her mouth. “ _That_ is why you asked me to come here?” she gaped, “For a drink? In the woods?”

“Y’know…for someone with such distaste for the forest, you spend an awful lot of time here,” he remarked. “Perhaps you were just hoping to run into me.”

Regina let out a small laugh. “You overestimate your appeal.”

“You deny your attraction to it,” he countered, stepping toward her so that their faces were only inches apart.

Regina took a half of a step back and swallowed, maintaining eye contact. “You’re full of yourself,” she accused.

“You’re stubborn,” said Robin, redirecting his attention back to the wine in a vain attempt to change the subject before Regina got angry and set something on fire. Or turned him into a squirrel. Neither option sounded good.

“Now, your majesty,” said Robin, handing the wine glasses over to the queen as he dug inside his jacket for a corkscrew, “let’s enjoy this brief moment of peace.”

A loud popping sound echoed as Robin uncorked the bottle. He smiled and poured some of the deep red wine into each of the glasses, watching Regina as he did so.

“I wouldn’t consider this _peaceful_ ,” said Regina. She handed Robin his glass and took a sip from her own. .

Robin made an expression of fake offense. “Oh?” said the outlaw curiously. “What about this do you find off-putting?”

His voice dropped an octave and he stepped even closer to her.

_Your proximity_ , thought Regina, _and_ _your damned tattoo for starters._

“My son has no idea who I am,” said Regina. “And my sister whom I’ve never heard of before yesterday is out for my heart.”

“Well, look at the good bits of all this,” comforted Robin. “You’re son is alive, safe, happy. He’ll remember you in time.”

Regina looked down at her glass.

“Your heart is safely in your chest, as it should be,” he continued, “and the Witch can’t remove it now.”

That was true, thankfully Regina had found a way to place a protection spell over her own heart as she’d done to Henry’s when they’d rescued him from Pan. But the threat still loomed dangerously close to home, and Regina knew that Zelena would somehow find a way to steal her heart nonetheless.

“Forget about all the pain and stress upon you right now, Regina,” advised Robin, “if you can’t give yourself a few seconds to breathe, you’re going to suffocate.”

She looked up at him. Their faces were practically touching; she could feel his warm breath on her face and smell the woodsy musk that he always seemed to carry.

“You’re right,” admitted Regina softly.

Robin smiled. “Of course I am.”

The thief stepped away from her and grinned widely. He raised his glass up as in a toast and waited for Regina to follow suit.

“To a moment of peace?” He proposed, searching her eyes for confirmation.

Regina let out a small laugh. “To a moment of peace.”


End file.
